“Looking for a sense of direction in life? Vanae may be your answer. I have spent hundreds of dollars on therapists who just sat and ask me how I feel about x, y, and z. And I left feeling the same. I was really looking for a life coach like Vanae. She was better than the therapists I’ve been too because she is able to listen and give me realistic solutions on how to deal with my issues and the things I wanted to improve on. I left feeling empowered after our first session. I am more confident and not as afraid to talk to people as I once was. She has so much insight about life as you can sense from her videos and you will learn a lot. If anything, ask for a quick call with her to discuss your goals and see how she can help you.” – George
Vanae was an amazing coach! In just a few sessions, she helped me find the courage to take risks, have confidence, open up, and be myself. She was a great guide in helping me explore aspects of my self and relationships with others where I was feeling dissatisfied and ineffective. She had great insights on some of my behaviors that were holding me back. She helped me understand how to be comfortable being myself, and being more authentic. The result was I felt more confident, opened up and was able to deepen my relationship with my partner in incredible ways! And on top of it all, Vanae always had a great vibe and I left our meetings feeling inspired and energized!” – Mike (California)
The biggest struggle that your coaching helped me with was seeing the difference between a PUA and a confident guy. It made me realize that the tactics that PUA’s use are lame, ignorant, manipulative, etc. Girls want an assertive male, not a dick. I don’t need pickup lines or cheesy one liners to talk to girls. Sometimes ‘hi’ and making a comment on the present situation is the best way to initiate conversation. I became a lot more present in the moment after working with you while still maintaining big visions of the future. This has always been a difficult issue with me because I’m so goal oriented that I forget what’s in front of my face. At the same time, I used to be happy in the moment with no real vision of where I wanted my life to go. Your coaching isn’t geared toward having one night stands with girls. It’s aim is to feel better about yourself and create meaningful relationships with females. In turn, when you’re happier, better things will naturally gravitate toward you. I would recommend your coaching to college guys. Guys in that age demographic (myself included) tend to believe that the bigger the dick you are, the more girls you will get. They need to be taught the difference between being a dick vs being assertive. It helps to hear those things from a womens perspective. – Andrew (Pennsylvania)
This is Vanae, she was my coach last year and helped me through a lot of stuff. She’s real, she cares, and she’s amazing at what she does. I never really figured out the words to really let her know how much she helped me out. With her help, I am in a better place today then I was two years ago. – Peter (California)
“Before I started coaching, I used to think that maybe I just didn’t have what it took to be a really social guy and meet women. I was never very confident or comfortable in social situations and really had a tendency to over-think things and not go out of my comfort zone. Vanae has really helped me developed those skills, and as a result, I’m much more comfortable and confident in social situations and dating. I’ve gone to more events and met more people in the past few months than I ever have in the past year before I started coaching. It’s given my confidence a huge boost and made me feel like a different person. What I learned from Vanae’s coaching is that I have the ability to be a social butterfly and not a quiet shy guy. I would recommend Vanae’s coaching to everyone.” – Josh B.
I used to be too harsh on myself, seeing myself as something to be fixed instead of improving on myself. Through Vanae’s coaching, it made me realize I am an awesome dude and I should see it that way. I feel much better about myself now. I liked the non-judging and understanding you provided. no pushing to change, just to realize what I should do. If you have self-image issues, Vanae can help. – W (Montreal)
I worked with Vanae at an important point of my life, in short my life was frenetic, overwhelming and I felt directionless. She taught me to slow things down, be aware and (most importantly) to appreciate. These got me through some rough times and I will be forever grateful. You can’t pick and choose the good and bad in life but you can choose how you perceive it. Vanae has helped make my perception of life more vivid and vibrant, just like she is. – Derek (Australia)
I was in a rather long relationship, almost got married and all that stuff. Things went sour and we split up. I felt pretty bad as far as my self-esteem, but then I came across your shows on youtube and started to listen to the things you said. And in short, it’s been two years and although I’m still single I’ve built up my confidence and my self-esteem is slowly rising to a better place. I suppose all I really needed was someone to tell me that I’m worth something, if not to the world at least to myself. – Z
First of all, thanks for keeping making videos like this. I’ve been watching your channel for 3-4 years and I’ve grown a lot. Even watching this video in particular makes me ask myself, “why am I watching this, I’m a confident person – I don’t need this”?! But this video helped me in another? way, it helped me remind myself when I first watched vanae12 and how much I’ve changed for the better. Thank you AGAIN! – Pete
Friday I had allowed myself an “oh no! Poor me moment” brutal! .. I totally lost confidence and failed to face my fear as it was awkwardly staring me in the face.. gulp! :O I will say I handled it as elegantly as I could with what I knew at the time. Taking the high road without loss of grace or much dignity on either of our behalf. Still I wish I could have handled myself better. Sigh* I stumbled across your video series later and one small tid bit of advice from one of your vids really set me feeling strait again.. Thank you my dear. It is truly basic common sense stuff that I had lost sight of. Dang it! 🙂 I did allow my emotions to cloud my sense of my awesomeness (so to speak). Probably the finest advice I had gotten is a great while. – Randy
My life before Vanae was nothing, I just played video games all day and had no ambitions or motivation to do anything, had no social life, body issues and no confidence. Then I found Vanae.Com the next day I sold my video games, promised myself to eat healthy and exercise regularly, work on my confidence and try to do something with my life. Now as I write this I am more confident than I have ever been , I have found a job, I’m saving for a backpacking trip to SE Asia, I eat extremely healthy (went from 16 to 13 stone)and don’t miss video games. The best part, I have only been a V’Star for a month. My advice to other V’Stars would be to not just hear what Vanae says but actually listen to her. Well, this has been my testimony to Vanae, the world’s best friend. – William (Scotland)
I am very touched and learned a lot from Vanae’s coaching class. It really begins with yourself and having a good relation with yourself that you can be in a healthy relationship with others. You have to respect yourself, know what you want to have others have confidence in you and find that other person that best matches your expectations. No one should settle. The biggest commitment is to yourself and finding oneself to live a happy life. I had recently broken up with a long time boyfriend and I realize now that i’m single that I really evolved my world around him. It’s just not healthy and that is why it ended. It was very painful because I had no friends after we had broken up. Having others and a support system is key you can’t just date someone and forget your friends! Thanks Vanae for being so honest and letting us know that we are worth someone to love us the way we want to be loved. – Lorina (attended 8.15.09 workshop)
Any one event can be a jump start to change, but taking that one step is always the hardest part. For me, that one step has always alluded me because I filled myself with doubt, insecurity and the fear of failure. Vanae helped me to realize taking that one step by showing me even a failure can be a good step. Vanae has a great gift for showing you a perspective of yourself from an outside view. It was this perspective which helped move me forward in taking chances in relationships that before I talked myself out of…the experience itself showed and opened up for me new opportunities and chances I never thought before. If I walk away with anything it is that one single step can open up multiple roads for you to live and enjoy your life to the best. Thank you Vanae for helping me to take that first step.” – MARK (California)
Vanae is a modern-day shaman; a healer; There’s something about her that always left me feeling good after we talked. If you sincerely need help with your dating life and are ready for a change then I really recommend watching all her videos and following them to-a-tee. No shortcuts. I also got help by reading a really good short book, basically, the message I got from it that did the most was that you have to evaluate things you don’t like about yourself 1st- then when you take action to fix those things good will come to you too. I realized that smoking pot wasn’t something I liked about myself; so I quit. Lastly, I took her advice on going to meetup.com because I also realized I don’t know a lot of people. It’s a great site and I rediscovered my curiosity for the martial arts and finally followed through by going to a meetup! I feel a lot better than I ever have and I owe a lot of it to discovering V’s healing power! – Joe
It wasn’t until Vanae’s YouTube videos that made me the more confident version of who I am today. Now, I can go up to any woman I’m interested in that I see at college (because I’m a college student) and have a fun and exciting conversation with them about anything. Next thing you know, we’re dating a week or two later.What makes Vanae’s videos so different from anyone else’s is that she understands that difficulty most guys go through and she gives a female perspective on what guys should go. Plus, she’s really laid back, so it’s all good. Many of my friends ask me how do I have the confidence to do these things? Yet it’s so simple. I recommended vanae.com to all my friends who ask but only on one condition: They have to write to Oprah about Vanae.” – Major
Before listening to your advice, I was just plain out depressed from my last break up. I didn’t know what to do and only felt like crying all the time, I didn’t even want to get out of the house. So after I heard your advice about just living your life basically and focusing on you. I decided to move out of the city next to the beach, where I really love being. I started school again, started new hobbies like surfing! Tons of fun. Also I just started getting over my fear of talking to girls and people in general. I now just approach anyone, especially girls I’m interested in. It is really fun as long as your genuine, sincere, and direct. I’ve had about 3 dates in the past month…its more than anything I’ve had in the past I WOULD DEFINITELY RECOMMEND VANAES ADVICE TO OTHERS! The main thing is taking her advice and using* it.Good luck guys. – Kevin T.
Well, i saw one of your video on youtube, so i like it, then i logged into your web site, and i really found wonderful articles, especially about self improvement, i really was somehow shy in the past , and this really affect my job, i am working as a doctor, and you can imagine how this will be so hard to me to communicate with patients , and other doctors, so after i read your article, i took the most important points, and then i start to follow them step by step , and thanks god , and thanks to you ,i am now feel much better about myself, indeed i can talk more confident and on much more spontaneous way. i really hope that you will read my message, and who knows , maybe this will be helpful for others like me. thank you very much. – Dr.Mohammed
Vanae- you’re an amazing and enthusiastic speaker on relationships/dating! – Kerry (Workshop: Confidence booster & Balance in life)
I think your advice has helped me see things from a personable, sincere woman’s perspective. I would say that my ability to relate with others has increased since subscribiing to your site and also my confidence has gone way up to a point where some women have been comfortable asking me for my contact information, which is nice. Also, the fact that you are personable enough to chat now and then is a plus, and I think that one of the biggest compliments you pay your audience is that you care about them, which I have observed for myself. It was very obvious through your youtube videos and your site and to top that, you’re humble enough to communicate with me as well. – KAMAL (male, SF)
One of the biggest advice I took from Vanae is to be cool! I figured that I was a sideline guy and Vanae opened my eyes. I became more aware about my relationship with others and interactions with the people around me. I realized that you can’t limit yourself, you need to be open to all possibilities and due to that, I was able to meet someone amazing! If anything else, it was a behavior modification on my part because Vanae said: “You are hot and you deserve somebody worth your time”…….well not those exact words but pretty close ! –Marky_Marc
I got wind of your videos of love and relationship advice by pure accident, but your posts have really helped me through a very rough time in my life. The girl of my dreams for years had fallin in love with me a year ago, but this last summer in 08, she up and left without word, warning, or explanation. After I came back to Cali, (im a Marine by trade for now.) I was hurt and lonley and ended up being a sideline guy without realizing it. Several months ago, I saw one of your vids, and I watched as many as I could that answered all my questions. And helped me free myself from her and my own pain. Thank you for all you do for us lonely heartbroken guys out there. – Anonymous
What really helped me is the advice regarding being the sideline guy and the electric fence. Before, I was helping this girl I really like on problems she had with his boyfriend. So, I became a sideline guy. It made me feel bad because no matter how huge my efforts were, nothing happened. So, I followed your advice. I quit. I found a girl, tried to communicate with her, expressed myself. Now we are alright, we are getting along really good. I believe that what happened is because of good communication, something a relationship should have for it builds trust and makes things easier for it creates guidelines (Do s and Don’t s). Thank you for the videos you post. More power Vanae! Have a nice year! – WILSON
I’m a 26-yr old male who is/was the typical sideliner and a passive pushover… now I’m finally starting to let go of some self-resentment and insecurities from past failed relationships. Anyways, your videos were the cherry on top, an extra little push towards realizing my true self. Thanks for keeping it real; your insights are honest and straightforward, and inspire confidence in many, I’m sure. Thanks again, you are doing good for the world! *people of the world….vanae’s ways are the cure. She helped solve my 4 year long enigma, thats saying something. Spread the word! – LIAM
In January of last year I met a girl in one of my classes that I quickly began to fall in love with. My luck with women had always been lacking, and while I made a good friend to some of them, I never felt reciprocal attraction. Around the time I met her, I discovered your dating videos and begin to follow your advice. Your advice gave me courage, strength, and helped me to win her over. When I asked her out for Valentines Day last year, she said yes! The tips that you gave were invaluable during the course of our relationship, and each one helped me even further. I just wanted to say THANK YOU for everything that you do. From the beginning of our relationship, when I used your advice to date her, to the end of our relationship, as I’m starting to use your advice to help move on, your videos have been there all the way. Without you who knows if I would have ever had the chance to love at all. Keep up all of the good and truthful work in all that you do. You have truly changed my life! Sincerely and with all of my heart, Gavin
“Vanae lives up to what she teaches on her blog. She herself is an inspiration to most of us, to learn to be happy in our life. I am glad I found Vanae.com early in my journey” – Satish
HEY EVERYONE! I’m Jonathan from San Antonio Texas. I’d like to say that Vanae is truely a wonderful person. A true leader and Awesome Inspire..before i had a chat with vanae on the phone, I was still holding myself from moving forward. A good 6 years, a lot of feelings and emotions have drowned me. My experience after talking to Vanae was inspiring. At first i found myself for the first time and so long. I have had my father always tell me to step back and look at the picture. But i could never get into focus. The way Vanae spoke to me, was magical. She knows how to smooth transition her words to heal your soul in such a way. She has a gift of guidance. And i really, really enjoyed speaking with Vanae. She made me feel so comfortable as if i could speak to her like a best friend. I painted a Beautiful Canvas in my mind of all the wonderful things in my life, Thanks to Vanae. The next Day i was the happiest as can be and still contemplating on what i must do to perform the cleansing of my life. To remove the dark taint of which I’ve let spread, like the taint of prince of Persia. Later that day, the moment of truth and realization had come to my attention, i got worried, that maybe I’d find an easier way to ease the pain and maybe go a different route. But NO, I had to call Vanae again. She was so nice to talk to me a second time, let alone leave me a voice mail. She is Really wonderful. I had a small doubt, and i talked to her. Out of the time she spent, 2 hours with me the day before. Now an added 20 min or so. I am truly grateful for her time and i will not waste it in vain. She told me the only way to get rid of my darkness was to address the problem and really take care of it the hard way. My attention to my issue has made me agree to do as Vanae has advised.Not only did she address this one particular issue, but it was the strongest issue and contagiously affecting everything else in my life. By fixing this one, she sought out to purify the taint in my Canvas. she noticed it would change my life forever in ever aspect. With her great knowledge she has advanced forward, guiding me, to resolute my problem. Now i have a chance to be a better me. Finding who we are is the center of every one of us. Now i can start.Thank you Vanae for all of your help, truly. If anyone needs help by advice, please do no hesitate to get a hold of the pretty Vanae. She’s Magical. – Jonathan
I just want you to know how much you’ve helped me. I recently broke up with my fiance` of 4 years (I’m only 21, jeez) and your videos about dating, relationships, and how to treat/get back together with your ex has helped me realize I need to work on myself before I’m okay to be in a relationship again. I’ve never put myself first before, and now it’s time that I do so. THANKS SO MUCH FOR HELPING ME!
Just wanted to say hi… I watched a few of your videos and I must say that you are awesome! I’m usually grumpy and the opposite of what you tell people to be… but you make me have a better outlook on life/personality… keep it up pumpkin!
Before I started reading Vanae’s blogs on relationship advice, I was in a dead-end relationship. The girl who I had feelings for was stringing me along, and I didn’t know what to do. Then I stumbled on one of Vanae’s many helpful videos. Her advice about deserving someone who deserves you got me to realize that my time was better spent on someone who appreciated me. So I moved on. A few weeks later I was at Relay for Life for the American Cancer Society, and I met someone who I just couldn’t stop thinking of. Now I am in very happy relationship with someone who I care about, and who cares about me. Needless to say, if it wasn’t for Vanae’s help, I might still be in that dead-end relationship. So thanks Vanae!! 😀 – KEAKA
Let me tell u that your videos on YouTube really helped me get over this one girl that broke my heart. You were just what I needed to heal my heart. And now I’m more confident,hold my head up higher, and I’m not scared of meeting new people. I used your tip of outta sight outta mind to get rid of my feelings for this girl. It’s been almost 6 months since I last saw her in person. And almost 10 months since we hung out one on one. Again I thank you. Keep doing awesome things girl! – Oscar
For me personally I think its not so much the advices you give but the positive energy that radiates out of you. Its refreshing to see someone with confidence, enthusiasm and happiness, it just lifts me up. And I can tell that you take care of your self really well, and that makes me want to do the same about myself. So in summary I think you have raised the bar in terms of life, and that kinda brings my game up and the next persons game who ever it is. So I think its helped me in that sense. – ZAK
Thanks vanae, I took your advise and I realized that its not worth the sacrifice. I would be stupid to do anything about my feelings.
I have moved on now and I think it was 100% that right decision and your right the sideline guy never gets any play.
Thanx again your a legend. – Alex
I have moved on now and I think it was 100% that right decision and your right the sideline guy never gets any play.
Thanx again your a legend. – Alex
My girlfriend broke up with me 2 months ago, and although it was a pretty tough time to get through, I’m glad to have stumbled upon your website, which has made a huge difference to my life over the past 2 months. We had been the best of friends before we got together, and we shared so many amazing experiences together as a couple and as friends. But we’ve been physically apart for most of the time, and I guess we’ve moved on without me even consciously knowing. Once again, thanks for your really helpful website. I think your advice is useful and rational, and I really like the personal style of the website. Have a great year ahead. – Xuanrong
Just wanted to drop in and tell you what a fantastic job you are doing with the videos and this site. I especially liked in one of your videos you mentioned ‘you are your best investment’, I even wrote it on my whiteboard, only to realise I was using a permanent marker and now I cant rub it off (not that it is a bad thing)!
Your videos on self empowerment are very inspiring and makes me want to really go out there and go for it!
Your videos give me a daily reminder to stay positive in my very trying time, and your unique humor keeps me smiling in otherwise unhappy and depressing times. Just wanted to share my thanks. – Steve
I just want to thank you for this blog. There is a lot of advice out there on dating, but I think what makes yours unique and most helpful is your sincerity in your words and in your attitude. I also appreciate the simplicity of your advice – it’s direct, it’s helpful, and it’s not contrived. Again, not easy to find out there.
Thank you sooo much! Vanae your videos and coaching helped me out a lot. please keep up the great work I’m glad I subscribed to you, you are indeed 100% the best!!!!!! 🙂 – Adonius
I really liked your talk. It really helped me get to know myself better way and turns out my self-esteem growed and the most important thing is that confidence comes back and it made me feel happy and I thank you for that vanae. – Idris